By the time I’m writing this, Argentina has been on lockdown for 168 days. Far fromstatic my opinion on the matter (I really don’t like talking politics), I can’t deny that things have changed… a lot since my last post.
To start with, I’m writing this from my mother’s house; yes, I’m at my mother’s. And no, it’s not something temporal: it’s definite. I left the apartment where I’d moved out in the beginning of 2019 the 9th of August. It took me many months to realize I couldn’t keep delaying the unavoidable.
The hardest part of moving back in was deconstruct the preconceptions around moving back to your parents by your 30’s after having experienced living by yourself.
These are my conclusions:
You’re not a failure nor a being kept because you moved back to your parents
Most of us millennials grew under the message that, by 30, we must have achieve any of the following:
- Stable (romantic) relationship/be about to get married
- A child
- Economic stability
If we weren’t hearing it from our relatives, television ads and publicity would constantly bombard us with these messages ever since we were put in front of a screen. How many of us, by 15, looked up at 25’s and 30’s thinking they were adults like our relatives? We thought that we’d have life figured out by that age.
This is something that only a few of us have achieved, and not completely. The possibility of having economic stability is scarcer every day, as well as the opportunity of being able to buy property or be granted credit for it.
There’s also the fact that many of us are still trying to enter into the labor market, settling for mediocre salaries that hardly allow you to save up after you’re done paying expenses and taxes.
Not to mention having kids and “securing” a stable (romantic) relationship.
You don’t owe the reasons why you move back to anyone
And I dare say they aren’t up for judgment, although it is true that those who want to criticize you will find a way to do it anyway.
This is why next time you get asked why you moved back, I suggest you think twice before you answer. Whether you do it or not, it doesn’t matter, people will judge you anyway: if you wish not to answer, you’re agressive. If you do, “look at them, moving back with their parents… poor people”.
It’s not a bad thing you’re not where you thought you’d be by X age
There isn’t a single recipe to how life is supposed to be like.
I won’t deny I believe there are some things I’d better do by age X than Y, but it’s important to always have present the thought that everything is a social construction and, as such, we can defy it, deconstruct it and reinvent it.
This is why I’d rather focus on the opportunities moving back in brings my way, which is something I briefly talk about in my YouTube channel above. Sadly, it’s only available in Spanish, so I’m going to leave my give you a little bullet-points list of my ideas:
- The opportunity to reinvent myself from the place where I built this blog.
- The opportunity to dedicate time to learning new things and perfecting my diverse crafts.
- The opportunity to begin saving up again.
Also, even if you don’t understand Spanish, from minute 07:13 there’s a tour through my bookshelves, office and bedroom!