“OMG, did you see how Sora dressed up today? Are you seeing a boy after work? Those lips are so ready to kiss!”.
I don’t think you guys ever noticed my change, because I’m quite authentic on the internet. For some reason, my life online makes so much more sense than the offline and gives me this feeling of “I’m home and nothing can hurt me”, probably because I’ve been here for so long and nasty comments can’t hurt me no longer. I know it’s not the anonymity it offers, because I’m clearly not a name nor faceless individual (hello, I express myself on the internet with pictures of ma face and it’s available to absolutely everyone out there to read), but that’s a topic that deserves further analysis.
But today, I want us to concentrate on the fact that my style has evolved quite a bit these last 6 months. I’m more shameless and less scared of being ridiculed by society’s standards. That sh*t hurts me no longer. People can tell me they think my style is too much, that it’s ugly, that it’s tasteless, and that really won’t hurt me; I’ll just casually shrug it all because I’m beyond that (and also because I value my brain cells and don’t want them to perish under someone else’s unfiltered thinking).
But when it comes to these type of comments that assume I’m dressing up for men, hence giving entry into the convo our
beloved patriarchy, I start flipping tables.
We were taught since very little that the moment a woman “dresses-up” and puts on lipstick, she’s out for a date, hooking up, having sex. We were taught that we dress for everybody else, for men especially, to the point it’s become common to say, sadly, that “I dress for myself” as if we needed to clarify: 1) something that is obvious, duh 2) that we’re not whxres (oh my) 3) that we’re not superficial (whaaaat?).
I know because I Googled it. Because I wanted inspiration from the first search engine most people use. And it disappointed me. I had to turn to Tumblr to find what I was looking for, and that wasn’t an easy task!
And the problem is that no one seems to think for a second that there exists a million more reasons why a woman dresses a particular way: because she feels confident in her clothes, because they help her get through her day, because it’s become like armor, because she’s trying to change her style, because she’s doing a challenge, because she’s going to fight Narnian war (totally true btw), because SHE LIKES IT, PERIOD.
First of all, we shouldn’t care about what the person next to us is wearing, that is clear. It’s none of our business. But for the sake of growing a bit more as a society and create a better world for future generations, can we please stop assuming that: women who dress-up = she’s going to hook up/doing it for a man? Thanks!
*PS: There’s no better way to finish this copy than telling you that I had written this clarification at the end of this post, as a way to either excuse myself or soften the blow:
“I’m not saying there’s something wrong to dress for other people”.
I quickly realized early on that this is a pre-made concept I was forced into my head and that, in all honesty, don’t share at all 😛 Whether it’s right or wrong to dress for other people or occasions, it is all defined on one single fact: POWER. If you hate high heels but still wear them to work because you know your bosses will pay more attention to you when you wear them, it’s wrong (THEY have the power over you). But if you wear high heels because… well, BECAUSE, you know, you like them, it’s right (your decision to wear high heels wasn’t being influenced by anyone but you, therefore YOU hold the power).
Yellow furry coat from Y-LOVERS
Checkered shirt from H&M
Distressed jeans from Zara
Black suede boots from Zara
Top black hat from H&M